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Surfing is for nerds - By Derpus
I have been part of the surfing community for many years now, and I have never seen a more nerdy awful shit smelly thing in my entire life. Before I get started, to educate the uneducated or poor, Surfing is a game mode where you are launched onto phallic objects with the intent of going from A to B, takes no skill an even a child can do it.
So, to start off, surfing attracts people of many different gender, race, sex, age, and even species. To make my point clear, I am a long time moderator for THIS VERY COMMUNITY. I have seen many children come and go, handing out mutes like the candy they so adore, but I havn't seen many adults. Coincident? I think not. Allow me to show you the pie chart (See: Attachment A). That is from years of collected research and being part of the community. Science never lies. Children are the worst thing to happen to videogames, Take a look at our "good pal" Diddy. She is a 12 year old who surfs all day and has no life, and she makes the server very poor. Is there any recurring adults? I don't think so. The server is even ran by a 13 year old boy named Chlore. I would know, he hired me as admin.
Surfing is a mainly white sport, because it's very graphically intensive and only rich white people can support it, which leaves someone like me (tan) or others (black and yellow) out of luck. I find it HIGHLY offensive that you couldn't make the game mode more widely functional and accessible for us "lesser folk". But of course the white man is always trying to keep us down.
Surfing is a male only sport too, there's only one female (diddy) but that's it, ever wonder why? It's too hard for us females. We can't handle such hard tasks with our dainty frames, so surfing is therefor against females. We need to make surfing more accessible for the feminists of our society. I can't believe how the pig men even begin to treat women, even in VIDEOGAMES. Meant to be enjoyed by all.
I can't believe that a game mode as bad as this one exists, and I pray that you all open your eyes.
-Derpus 2012
P.S. - Check your privileges. Not everyone can surf.
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the office: :>
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